You may be reading this and may recognise the title as being   J. Cole’s song “Love Yourz”. This article will indeed be about the wise words J. Cole dropped in this song. If you don’t know this song…please go listen to it. It may be worth your while if you are ever feeling insecure about where you are in life.

So basically J. Cole opens with the lyrics “No such thing as a life that’s better than yours.”, and everyone has those days when they look at the girl/guy next to them and think, “I wish I could look like her/him”. Or if you are a student like me, you have probably thought “I wish I was as clever as student X”.

Well I have been having quite a few thoughts like this of late, and listening to J. Cole helped me. So, I just decided to share my insecure thoughts that I had lately because I feel a lot better when I know that I am not alone, like when Ashley Graham said that she had cellulite too! (LOL)
So, in one of my tutorial classes there is a guy who makes everyone feel inadequate by showing his knowledge. I do not think he knows it though (or maybe he does)! He just says stuff like “I did all the required reading and the additional reading” (by the way the required reading itself is quite a lot). Anyway, so I then shared with him that I had barely managed to finish the core reading and he straight up called me lazy! Obviously, I caught feelings at first but then I realised that his path is his to walk and I am on mine. I am certainly not an over achiever but I know I am doing the best that I could possibly do. So why would I want to be him when I am just outchea doing me. (well we probably all want to be like him but who knows maybe he is lying)!

The second issue is an issue that is very touchy for most women. Me included! And writing this is so hard for me. But here goes…I have continued with my love for rowing, something that makes me very happy and helps me a lot when I am stressed. When I rowed at Arundel, I was never self-aware cause well the meaning of “fat” and “thin” in Africa is very different than in the first world. When I rowed back home (and to be fair I have gained a little bit of weight) I was not fat. I was not thin but it wasn’t a situation where standing among people smaller than me would make me feel out of place. But here, the rowing girls are literally all size 2’s, maybe, if you are lucky, you’ll get a size 8 every now and then. Since, I am not a size 2 or 8, some people may consider me to be “fat”. I have put quotation marks because I love my body (sometimes- except when I’m having one of those days where it’s like the apocalypse in my life!)

I am not fat; I prefer the term “thick”. Yes, I wish there were parts of me that were not on me. But this is me. Take it or leave it. How I hate that I get cleavage, even when I am not trying to get it (because I am a 34E/F) is some other woman’s dream. Even though it is my nightmare it is still me and who I am. There is certainly no such thing as a life that’s better than yours.