Most of my childhood was spent playing outside since we didn't have DSTV, and ZBC only ran cartoons for about 3 hours a day. During that time my siblings and I got most of our entertainment from Christian VCR tapes (yikes! throwback) and a bunch of 80's cartoons. When I was around 14 years old my dad walked into the house with a decoder. I was so excited I ended up spending the entire evening scrolling through the channels and taking it all in . I don't think I noticed anything different for a while, but by the next year I was nagging my mom to take me to get some new clothes. My jeans were too big and the plain t-shirts didn't look good. My lunch box was not exempt, it needed to be filled with chips and burgers, not polony sandwiches! I remember being in form 2 and waiting anxiously for the holidays so I could ditch my boring short hair and have long braids, just like Moesha. Even my personality got some tweaks. After watching a show called 'That's so Raven' I decided that I needed to be funnier and started thinking of ways to get people to laugh at my jokes.

Flash forward a couple of years and I was in form 4, getting ready to write my O'levels. The pressure was so heavy. I had recently seen a movie about a guy who managed to study really hard, get into an Ivy League college and  become a cardiovascular surgeon. He went on to become famous and everyone loved him. I wanted that, no I need that, to be loved and accepted. I had to get amazing test grades or my life would be awful.  As lower 6 crept up, I started to feel tired. Tired of trying to be everything I saw as valued on TV. Tired of dressing up like the princesses I saw on Disney channel, so that a prince would notice me. Tired of changing my personality so I would have lots of friends. Just plain and simply tired!

Jesus tells us in Matthew 6:25 not to worry about everyday life. He speaks directly to our earthly desires and reminds us that life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. I had to make a decision that day in lower 6 and everyday since to "seek first the kingdom of God." When we are so concerned with our hair, clothes, grades or anything else, we tend to forget the real meaning of life. My purpose in life does not change regardless of whether I have braids, a weave or my natural hair. We are designed to love God and love others, so when we focus on ourselves too much the lines start to get blurry. I've found that whatever I let influence me, whether that's the Kardashians, Mai Chisamba or even Ben Carson, affects what I value. I'm not saying don't work hard at school or wear clothes you don't like, but I am saying that in the grand scheme of things all of that stuff doesn't really matter as much as your relationship with God and others. This week try make an effort to love the people around you and spend time with the Creator. You'll be surprised at how much you start to love life!

xoxo
Love Always
Marlene <3