So Valentine’s Day happened. It’s kind of a scary day, isn’t it? It’s the one day where you are expected to participate in romance no matter how old you are or whether or not you are in a romantic relationship. You’re expected to determine labels - who’s with who? Are you dating that guy you’ve been talking to over lunch? People will be wondering.

Here on Purple Lipstick, you’re going to hear a lot about knowing yourself, but today we’re going to talk about knowing someone else. We’ve had three Valentine’s Days together so far and we can tell you from our experience that it has been much different than we were expecting. You know the classic chocolate and flowers gift? We couldn’t do that because each year we’ve been in different continents.

When I (Albert) was in high school, I, like most guys, found that Valentine’s Day was about showing off. It was a statement about giving a gift as extravagantly and publicly as possible. It was about me, not them. And when I (Abbie) was in high school, Valentine’s Day for me was about who was going to pay attention to me and what gifts I was going receive. Even though I had no intentions of getting a boyfriend at that point, I still wanted someone to make me feel special.

Valentine’s Day feels like a day where you are meant to feel special, where you’re supposed to be the object of someone’s mad affection. The standards are so high it’s almost like people expect you to step into a movie for a day. In this movie, the cute boy from class, unable to contain his unbearable devotion for you, comes running up to you (roses in hand) and confesses his unending love for you.

The reality is, this isn’t a great way to look at Valentine’s Day. When you’ve found someone who’s happiness means more to you than your own, gifts on Valentine’s Day look a whole lot different. It’s not so much about getting but about giving. Your significant other’s happiness becomes the goal, and you begin to look for presents or ideas that aren’t going to make a big show but are going to make them smile. You lose the idea of being seen and spend hours, days and even months preparing for a gift or moment that will make the other person freak out. And it’s worth it when you see them open the gift or experience the moment and see them truly happy and they realize how much thought and care you put into it.

It’s funny to think that the other person’s reaction means so much; perhaps it’s even more important than what you received. If anything, Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to be truly selfless. It’s an opportunity to make one day really special for someone else and try to put into words and actions how much they mean to you.