I Stopped Loving Love...
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
I have had more than my fair share of
crushes, but one day I finally got sick and tired of being sick and tired of
the drama that comes with romantic crushes. It took me meeting the Last Crush.
He was gorgeous to say the least, sparkly eyes and dimples, what girl could
resist dimples?! I mean he had dimples! That’s enough said! We seemed to hit it
off from the start. He got double ticks for the flattery and the sweet
empty-nothings! He had a way of just pulling them out of nowhere! And I took it
all in! We exchanged numbers and we started communicating over Whatsapp for a
few weeks. And then we finally met up again. Don’t get excited, this was not a
date! We just met up (insert side eye emoji) at a one of the city’s nicest
spots. And it was a disaster. I told you there was nothing to get excited about….Lol.
He behaved so poorly. He tried to flirt with my friends! Oh YES he did! *Finger
snap and neck roll* And then suddenly, standing in that restaurant, an arm’s
length away from this guy, it was as if the scales just fell from my eyes. I
had seen it from the get go but I had chosen to feign ignorance, but at that
moment, I could not deny it.
That was the very last crush I ever had.
That experience made me realize that I had treated God like a seat filler for
way too long. It forced me to go back to basics and fall in love with God, I
presented my heart to Him because I now truly understood that He designed it, and
I can trust Him to do better with it than a mere mortal man who has to borrow
breath from Him would. I needed to fill the hole in my heart. Yet only God,
whose love is like a never ending well; whose love never runs dry; only God who
loved me before the beginning of time could adequately do that job! Only God
has that quality written on his resume yet I had been so unwise so as to fire
Him several times for counterfeit saviors. No temporary things on this planet
can ever take the place of God. A boyfriend, that job, good grades, that
Michael Kors designer handbag or whatever it is that you value above God, may
add to your life, but it can never replace your relationship with God. I had to
cut off my addiction to romance because it was hindering my walk with the Lord.
I cut off all “randoms”**. Now I choose
to be intentional about developing my relationship with God, I choose to focus
on increasing in the knowledge of God everyday instead of chasing after a
relationship or the next big crush. I just get up every morning, taking each
day as it comes and I intentionally pursue a relationship with God and I give
my days to Him. My desire for romance is no longer a priority. Instead, I have
taken up a lifestyle of waking up and choosing God every single day of my life.
Ladies, the Creator of the skies loved us
before the beginning of time. Because of that, sometimes we just have to
overvalue ourselves. Know our worth and add taxes to it J
You are so Loved <3
-Noni
**Random- A person that you know you’ll
never marry or build a meaningful relationship with but you date him because
you are bored or lonely
6 comments
Oh wow. It is time i let go of my silly crushes too, it is time i stop loving love. Great piece Noni
ReplyDeleteThank you Antonnia! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
DeleteIt's a sort of trend nowadays that people pursue randoms**. They get into relationships with the mentality that it's a sort of game without taking into account their emotional or spiritual readiness and development and without considering that actions leave a mark on the mind that stays even when it wants to be forgotten.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right! Relationships make such a big impact on our lives. Thinking before we leap is always best ;)
DeletePowerful interesting reading. God bless you
ReplyDeleteThank you! Glad you liked it :)
Delete