Purple Lipstick

The Worst Kinds of Pain

These are some of the worst emotional pains I have ever felt. It took me a pretty long time to type this article (thank you Lower Six for the crazy number of holiday assignments you come with) and I really hope you enjoy it)

1. 1. When we find ourselves rejected by that one guy we actually dared to hitch up our skirts and chase after we go hysterical. (And yet we’ve been rejecting all the other ones that have been approaching us. Hmmm). I am not sure why, but we feel that we should do the dumping, we should do the blocking and the rejecting. Equality isn’t a half-way-house kind of thing. It goes all the way. And then there are those who say “But, Tendow, are you saying that it’s okay for a guy to hit a girl?” That’s not what I’m saying. Nobody should be hitting anybody. Period. I digress. My point is there is nothing wrong with you when this happens. You are still the same beautiful you and just because somebody doesn’t see your value doesn’t mean it’s non-existent. The right person for you is somewhere out there (cliché, yes. But still true). And when that person comes they will treat you better than gold and silver because unlike gold your worth never decreases because the world’s standards have gone down. You remain the same; priceless.

2. 2. On social media. When we post the same picture as Miss I-Am-Popular, wearing the same clothes (for reasons unknown), posing the same way (pout game so strong), but they get a hundred ‘likes’ in ten minutes before we get to twenty (oh, the pain). And we lose it. We go into that deep phase of self-analysis and promise to start dieting the next day or start using waist trainers. LET ME BRIING IT TO YOUR ATTENTION! We are all beautiful no matter what anybody says. You don’t need a million likes or a thousand comments from boys to convince you that you are beautiful the way God made you. Once again. You are NOT for sale so they do not place a value on your worth. You are not a product made to look shiny and clean for somebody to glance at and move on to the next item comparing prices. Do not give them the power to do so. Own your look. Own your flaws. Own yourself. Embrace yourself; every bit.

3. 3. I believe this is the worst kind of pain. When we feel like we don’t matter. And it’s more painful when you feel that way around those you consider to be your friends because we trust their judgement. The words they say leave you scarred for a long time and it’s a bit odd how the same pretty lips preaching “Girls unite” are the same ones tearing another girl down because of what she wears, how she speaks or where she’s from. ‘We are only as strong as our weakest link’ and we are either all about supporting the girl-child (all of us) or not at all. Keep your arms around the shoulders of your sisters because as you are protecting them, they are supporting you when you are at your weakest. It doesn’t matter where you’re from or your religion or nationality or race. Our differences make a colourful collage when put together.

Thursday, August 18, 2016
0 Comments

"You are Beautiful"

guest blogger

“You are beautiful!” “You are beautiful!” “You are beautiful!” “You are beautiful!” I hear this probably every single day from my girlfriends at the cafeteria at school, at the gym as we work out together to get this perfect bodies but I am lost, world!! I tell them how beautiful they are too knowing how compliments are very necessary in the life we live in now. You want to always know you are beautiful or at least ‘trying to look beautiful’. This is what I have learned from the society through my naïve ears and eyes. I have learned that if you do not fit a certain standard, you’re synonymous with the lesser. I have been caught up with the nonsense of it all. I am walking through a road of unreachable expectations. “God! I wish I looked like Gabrielle Union.” Statements like this have made me believe that I can never actually be good enough. I want to be like someone I will never be. These unreachable expectations break every individual striving to be like somebody. Body’s not good enough? ‘Don’t eat, you’d rather starve, you need that flat tummy.’ I look around, plastered photos on billboards, commercials, music video scenes, barbie dolls. The typical beauty queens. Oh Beauty! I have realized that beauty is having hair that falls perfectly straight. Cascading like waterfalls. Eyes so beautiful. Diamonds faltered in comparison. Skin that’s not too dark. They say “light skin is the right skin”. And a body that belongs on the cover of Cosmopolitan. Beauty. I put on that make up they tell me to, to look for perfection. Concealer, foundation, mascara. I fill in these lines till I’ve colored myself “pretty”. As if it hides my emotional scars. I am screaming to the world. “Is this what you want? What about what I want?” And then, there’s this thing called a mirror. If I look in I see my reflection. The picture so clear. I can’t help but make an assessment. I still see every flaw, every imperfection, every insecurity, every heartbreak, every time I wish I were that person on TV. But what is this beauty?

I have been racking my mind trying to find the perfect definition on what beauty really is but I just don’t seem to find a clear one. I have been trying to look for beauty by trying to fit in. My idea of beauty has been tainted and poisoned. Never do I remember my mother’s words any longer. I cling to what I have been made to believe by the boys at school and by the men with eyes that never seem to get off what they call beauty. I hold on to the societal demands of beauty and I forget that, beauty, was never meant to have a definition. Beauty was meant to be looked at with fascination. If you think beauty is more than the surface of your skin. Then you have started at a good place to begin. Beauty is not on the outside. It is not something that you can see. Beauty is something within you. Something you just have to be. Beauty is always giving, and asking for nothing in return. Beauty is that thing deep inside you. It is not something you can learn. Beauty lingers in everyone, it sleeps within the soul. But only some of us find it, and that is what makes you whole. Beauty is being a friend, a friend that is always there. Beauty is believing in someone, and letting them know you care. Never feel disheartened, a lack of beauty is never near. Beauty isn’t I love you, but giving love that’s true. Beauty isn’t sweet words, but words that inspires lives. Beauty isn’t what you say, but the way it’s said. Beauty can lighten eyes, but true beauty lives, very deep inside. Its grace can bring joy to Hundreds of hearts. It is easy to find beauty, just gaze into the mirror. And remember that the only thing that matters, really matters, is that you can meet your eyes in that mirror each day and know that you have been true to yourself and that you know that beauty is more than the skin you are covered in. Make those scars beautiful. “You are beautiful”. “You are beautiful.” And I don’t mean to sound cliché, but yes you are beautiful no matter what they say. His body was broken His blood spilled so one day you’d realize what you are in His eyes. Unexplainably Indescribably Unequivocally Beautiful In Him. You would be wondrous and made whole. Sweetheart, one day you’ll believe that beauty is more than the physical. One by one, the pieces will align until you can look at yourself, head held high, smile and say I am beautiful.

Thursday, August 11, 2016
1 Comments

A Sisterhood Dynasty

guest blogger

“blame the internet “
It took me so long to write this ....trying to appeal to my generation, ‘who shall even pay attention’ i pondered ....these days its harder than it was when we didn’t have smart phones; such simple times where the sentiments were real and the love was not limited to ‘heart eyes’ and attention spans weren’t on limited. A generation of hustlers and go getters in lipstick..Of all shades, even vibrant purples the millennium of the Women. A generation so great that they pioneer change and start movements from simple conversations. A generation of innovative and diverse humans that testify of God’s glory by just being themselves. What a time to be alive, how lucky we are to be a part of this piece of history.

Mine is a story of a girl who’s surrounded by an ever evolving world..yearning for true friendship, and sisterhood. Our generation is plagued by virtualization...you have us teenage girls having so many issues fitting in because we don’t have a certain phone ,nor the latest trending accessory... all promoted by the exposure to each others ,and Celebrity Day to Day life. We are competing dear sisters, Sister Hood is under siege .Our friendships have been reduced to selfies, heart emoji’s and Instagram tags. We sit and compare likes, pose for a dozen photos but we not sharing our hopes and dreams with one another, smile and pretend for social media rather than confide in one another, instead of helping each other to realize and grow.. We have forgotten to be each others keeper. So I beseech thee Dear sisters, let us be blessings to each other again, explore each others beautiful minds and build sustainable friendships. I am turning 20 today and I realize now more than ever how important it is to have a sister .The only way to have a friend for keeps is to be that friend. Don't treat others how they treat you ,treat them how you would like them to treat you!

As girls of worth who shall evolve into phenomenal women, we need to rise above the mediocrity that is tearing each other down, making each other feel like we not good enough. There’s no limits to what can be, its up to us to break the status quo and thrive in this broken system. To move forward and pioneer change for our generation, for the African girl child, for girls everywhere, our sisters .For girls that love #purplelipstick.

Thursday, August 04, 2016
0 Comments

Self-Enlightenment and Tales of Other Journeys

guest blogger

One of the many aspects that factor into a child’s happiness is the fact that the world seems to be pre-historically flat

It doesn’t have that roundness of different perspectives and views, it has the essence of completeness

The illusion that Mama and Papa are perfect; that playing in the mud for four hours is the epitome of fun; that the only thing that separates Brian and I is that we pee differently, that this shanty town is the best place to live in….

But as I grew up, my eyes became the needle pricking the bubble of my childhood delusions resulting in constant states of disillusionments and despair

Needle Prick 1 led me to discover that my society views women and men quite differently, and several times it was women that fell on the unfortunate side of this view

Explains why I had to cook and take care of the baby after school while Brian just did his homework and played with his friends.

And why when I tried to complain, my Papa replied that boys don’t do housework

After this and many such incidents, I learnt not to ask questions because I didn’t really understand the answers.

When I got my first period, I was terrified and my Mama almost fainted as I walked into the house with my blood stained dress. She hastily dragged me into the bedroom and I was given a sanitary towel and a stern lecture on how my cycle is a supposed to be a secret, even though it’s natural.

That was my first lesson of many where I became more and more ashamed of being a woman.

Next were the catcalls, and then my dressing, and then my demeanor and after that I stopped keeping track.

I would look at Brian and Co. in envy as they saunter around without my heavy burden, or at least knowledge of it.

Needle Prick 2 grew concurrently with my love for reading, so I guess I could call it bitter-sweet.

Apparently, I lived in the dark continent, where everything was sad and dreary and hopeless and poor.

Being African was nothing to be proud of, what with our malaria and our high rates of HIV/AIDS infection.

Most reduced us to nothing more than a charity case, with globally renowned celebrities ‘paying their dues’ to the less fortunate in Africa.

Some readings and articles led me to ask myself whether we were children of a lesser God, what with the way they thought we’d accept them describing us as a ‘land filled strife with disease and warring tribes.’

Some of it struck me as true, but I wondered why they neglected to show pictures or depictions of our beautiful cities, or our talented artists or our brilliant innovators.

Internal eye rolls became the norm whenever I was in an international setting and someone asked me about Namibia or Morocco, like they’re just next-door to the East African country I call home.

But they were better, some didn’t even acknowledge that Africa has countries and I had taken to saving a map on my phone so that I could point out my country when asked, ‘So, how’s it in Africa?’

Needle Prick 3 came quite later in life, but it helped with a lot of explanations.

My beautiful dark brown skin was considered to be dirty, and my kinky natural hair, untidy.

Studying away from home made me realize that I was black, something almost everyone at home was. I didn’t see the big deal at first, I mean, I’ve been black my whole life

But the hard glare of the white security guard as I looked through items in the electronics store

And the way my white roommate subtly dismissed me whenever I tried to help her with her homework. Or the conspicuous surprise whenever I articulated a complex concept in clear and correct English.

Made me realize that being black isn’t that forgettable.

Even back home as all the ladies flocked the beauty shops to buy ‘Fair and Lovely’ and copious amounts of relaxers that were meant to ‘tame those wild tresses.’

I realized that several aspects of my blackness weren’t things to be proud of

But the most important prick, Needle Prick 4, showed me that beyond everything, I have the power to define myself past the definitions the world seems to want to impose on me.

Even though it seems that being a woman, African and black are aspects underappreciated by general society, I have the chance to appreciate them and fight for the good in them

Limits and self-hate do me nothing but dig holes and bury my hopes and dreams

And finally, the thing that matters most is all up in the mind, I choose the world I live in and shape it with my perceptions and views.

Saturday, July 16, 2016
2 Comments

The Food Scientist: Why Food is your Friend not your Foe!

guest blogger

I would tell you a joke about pizza, but it would be way too cheesy.

Ciao to all you lovely people out there who are reading this! My name is Andrea Makamba, and I am the sole author of a blog at www.thefscientist.wordpress.com. I am a food blogger in the pear-suit of making simple yet delicious food that I can share with all my readers in order to inspire them to be more creative in the kitchen. Sometimes my overzealousness lands me in a bit of a pickle, whenever recipes take a turnip for the worse. I have experienced the most colossal of failures, from forgetting cakes in the oven to melting mixing bowls (I still haven’t learnt that hot stove + plastic bowl = disaster). However, I mustard the strength to continue upon realising that there is plenty of margarine for error and your greatest mistakes teach you the most valuable lessons.

Aside from causing havoc in the kitchen, I am currently in my final year of high school, writing Maths, Physics, Chemistry and French at the end of this year (My chances of survival are looking pretty slim at the moment) and I also participate in a multitude of sports from tennis to soccer as well as cross country. My keen interest in the culinary arts led me to start a blog in December 2015, and when the time came to choose a name, I wanted to incorporate something that conveyed my personal interests. Hence, “The Food Scientist” was born. And since then, I’ve gone on to create things that look like this:

Baked Shakshuka

Passion fruit curd and Irish shortbread

Spicy Sweet and Sour Baked Chicken Nuggets

French dip sandwiches

I always get questions about where my ideas for recipes come from, and if I’m being honest, 90% of the time, it’s what I’m craving at that moment. There is never really a theme to what I’m cooking; I don’t go out of my way to try and create healthy, paleo, dairy-free vegan meals. Truth be told, I don’t always manage to maintain a healthy diet myself. If there is any lesson I would teach teenage girls of this century, it is that food is not your enemy. That slice of pizza sitting in front of you is not going to leap up and slit your throat. Food is not the enemy here, it is the voice inside your head telling you that eating that slice of pizza will make you fat. Why do we think that one cannot be beautiful unless one has a thigh gap, a flat stomach and protruding collarbones? You don’t need to starve yourself for hours on end to achieve somebody’s convoluted image of beauty. Ladies, I think you are all pretty a(maize)ing, no matter what size you are. If we can learn to form positive body images of ourselves, and understand that we are beautifully and wonderfully made, then we can move one step forward towards self acceptance and happiness.

I encourage you all to love yourselves and realise that a number on the scale does not define you at all. The next time that slice of pizza is staring at you seductively, I challenge you to go for it without a second thought. Food is your friend and not your foe, we should really be fighting against the twisted images of beauty that tell us that we can only be beautiful at one size.

Thursday, July 07, 2016
0 Comments

Meet the Gambura Sisters

Think Like A Girl

Hi! My name is Tapiwa Gambura, and I'm an artist. I'm 14 years old, well turning 15 on the 9th of October, and I learn at the Dominican Convent High School in Harare.

I'm a writer, I'm an actress, I'm an aspiring photographer, I'm a musician, and I'm African.

I love all things artsy, writing, drawing, painting, astrology, playing my violin, and acting. Acting is my life, my passion. It's like the stage calls me. What I love about the stage is that I don't have to be me. I'm allowed to forget about me for a moment in time, and be whoever I want to be, whenever I want to be, and however I want to be. It's my way of talking to people, reaching out to people. It's my form of meditation - I like to call it artistic relief.

What I hope to achieve in life, besides becoming an actress, is to be able to have inspired somebody to have explore their wide futures. To have taught someone something, anything, and to have made someone love them self, and proud of themselves.

Many people don't love themselves, especially children of African descent or African in general.
I want African people to reach their full potential. I want us to be unafraid to embrace ourselves fully. To be proud of our rich skin, no matter how dark or light it is. I want Africans to be able to grow out their natural hair, without thinking of it as wiry or 'too kinky' or ugly. I want girls to be able to grow past the misconception that they are lesser than the man or unable to have big dreams.

Exactly.

I want Africans to dream big.

So that's me, basically, just a regular African girl, with big dreams and the desire to be somebody worth reading about.

--------------------------------------------------

Tanatsei Francisca Gambura is the name I was graced with on the 30th of January in 1999. I'm a seventeen-year old Zimbabwean girl, an aspiring actress, writer, poet, spoken word artist and graphic designer. I'm also interested in Model United Nations and international diplomacy. I founded the 25 May Movement and wrote the poem "We Are Africans." My vision is to play a part in the great turn around and transformation that awaits Africa by being the catalyst that changes people's perspective about this blessed land. An artist at heart, I'm attracted to all things creative, inspiring and innovative. I enjoy all forms of dance and music, but listen to reggae the most. The more leather jackets and combat boots part of me is dedicated to the Arctic Monkeys. I am always excited to meet new people and have a conversation with them over a cup of coffee or a glass of lemonade. I am an academic who believes in the reconsideration of the global education system. I'm passionate about happiness and making other people happy. My life purpose is to serve others and share my gifts with them. I am a member of an organization called Rudimbwa that exists to make a positive difference in the lives of less privileged children. I'm happily a frequent blood donor, aiming to join the Pledge 25 club. I donate blood because of the value I put in human life. I believe in freely giving that which I have freely received. I am inspired by revolution. I advocate for freedom of being without the fear of external opinion and judgement. My biggest personal achievement would be to successfully complete everyone my three-hundred-item bucket list. I am more spiritual than I am religious, but I believe in natural hair and sunflowers. Om Shanti.

Tuesday, July 05, 2016
0 Comments

Brand New Season Of Think Like A Girl!

watch the video

Friday, July 01, 2016
0 Comments

Purple Lipstick

The Worst Kinds of Pain

"You are Beautiful"

A Sisterhood Dynasty

Self-Enlightenment and Tales of Other Journeys

The Food Scientist: Why Food is your Friend not your Foe!

Meet the Gambura Sisters

Brand New Season Of Think Like A Girl!

Follow Us

About Us

About us

Labels

Popular Posts

Blog Archive

recent posts

Pages

Follow Me

Instagram

Popular Posts

Like us on Facebook